Being a writer.
The difference is the desire to write, not the requirement.

I realize I am a writer because it brings me joy.  It is not something I only do when I am required to do so for school or for any other administrative purpose. It is something that calls me, that I come to, for solace, for clarity, for inspiration, for connection, for conversation, for imagery, for possibility.

This is what makes me a writer.

I think the only thing that I am left to do now, is to not let it be a whimsical hobby for once in a blue moon.  But a practice, a training and conditioning to become better, to exercise my potential, to grow and evolve as a writer.  Writing as Mike Rose in Why School? says, is about taking risks.  And not just as he puts it the "daredevil", "look ma, no hands" kind of risks, but "diligent risks."  I find this important. If I am inspired to write about something that is personal, that is evocative, that is deeply touching some dark part of me, then that is a risk.  It is something that is not exactly comfortable or shallow in content, but something that I might grace the shadows and flaws that I have, that we all have as human beings.  I think being honest, and sincere, in our writing is in a way taking a risk.

 As a writer and as a potential future teacher, I think this skill would also be important when reflecting on what is working with a class, and what isn't.  Sometimes it falls on our own reflections to make necessary changes, modifications rather than following through with a master plan or course of action.

As much as I love self-assigned tasks, and following through to the end, I have come to realize that it is not always about the finished product, but sometimes it is about the process- of noticing and being honest when the direction is not for the best and knowing when it's time to change course.

So, I will continue to write, and I will continue to take risks.  Just like I did jumping into the river in France, and then writing about it.  Or like when I went whitewater rafting in Chile and wrote about that too.  The risk of the experience and the risk of putting words together in new and innovative ways.